KFWhat?
by WeegieNDaisy
Summary: China was onto that colonel! Secret herbs and spices indeed! All poor America had tried to do was introduce the food to the other country, he hadn't anticipated this reaction at all.


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, KFC, or their secret hebs and spices.

"Hey China! You soooo need to try this!"

"…you're asking me to try something, _after_ you've already brought it to my country, aru?"

"Well, after all you've got in mine, I thought it'd be like… a return gift or something!" America smiled so great that it forced his eyes shut. Therefore, China was inclined just to try the darn thing. Besides, if the restaurant chain was going to open up within a couple of months, he'd need to decide whether or not it was any good…. And worth (the risk of) letting it expand.

China sighed, "Fine, aru. I'll try it," and he reached for the bad of hot food America held, allowing the other nation to follow him inside. At first he noticed the smell, unmistakably chicken, yet there was also a new scent mixed with it. "So," he continued as he led America to the dining table and placed the bag there. "What do I need? Plates, chopsticks, anything?"

"Uhh," paused the American to think this over as he placed two more bags of his own on the table. "Well, probably a plate for what ya pick out. Honestly, I just got a big family meal and some extras so you could pick out whatever you want. Probably some spoons though, to serve up, and a fork each? Unless you _really_ wanna eat with ya stick things," he rubbed the back of his head as he spoke, a habit that was strongly tied to embarrassment in Japan. Speaking of which…

"Is there anyone else that has this?" Possibly, this could hint as to what kind of tastes the food appealed to. Although, the smell of that chicken _was_ making his stomach demand more attention, though he was proud it wasn't actually _voicing_ that. China was a sucker for food, he could admit that, but he didn't need his stomach signing him up for… whatever this was.  
>"Well, Australia really likes it lately. Britain's had it for a while…. Though, he won't admit to it." Realising that these two (<em>especially<em> the latter) may not be strong convincing points, he decided to pick one a little closer to home. "Oh! And Japan's thaaaaaaat close to getting them put in. I just need to sell it to him after maccas, he reckons he doesn't need another one of my takeaway places, but I just know I'll get him with the idea of dressing up the colonel for Christmas time. He loves that sorta stuff."

That he did, no denying it. But Japan, that was good. If it had just been Britain, China might have been very, very cautious about this whole ordeal.

"Well okay then." He left to get what America had suggested, returning to the kitchen when the other nation then requested glasses for the drinks he brought as well.

"Ahkay then!" exclaimed America as everything was set out, placing everything with what seemed to be some method. Spoons were placed with everything that needed it. Boxes were opened letting out the aroma from earlier, but even stronger and revealing everything that America had brought. China inhaled deeply, trying to ascertain what that –delicious- smell was hiding amongst the chicken.

"It's good, isn't it? Yeaaah, the Colonel's 11 secret herbs and spices." He recited it with such reverence, but China had to wonder exactly why this 'colonel' would wish to keep such a secret, especially if it was about 'herbs' and 'spices.'

China raised an eyebrow, but before he could voice any suspicions, America was raising something from one of the cardboard 'buckets.'

"Now this one," America explained with a smile, "You don't need anything for, just eat with your hands. 'cause as we say back home, this stuff if," and he switched to English to finish the sentence in the proper (American) way. "Finger lickin' good!"

Weeks later, China was sipping tea at his desk, looking through some final notes for his boss. This admittedly tedious at times process was interrupted as a form regarding the new fast food restaurant chain came up next. China had actually discovered a lot of new tastes that night America had brought a 'sample' over. Besides the fact it was less like a sample, and more like a feast. Regardless, it had been a good dinner, even if he could see some things being changed on the menu to suit his peoples tastes a little better. And, if China was being honest, he was _so_ looking into those 'secret' ingredients. Let's see exactly what it is that colonel is hiding!

He took another sip as he skimmed over the beginning of the form. Names, suppliers, planned locations of trade… yes that all seemed in order. The Americans in charge and their corresponding Chinese partners were doing a good job setting this all up, despite obvious cultural boundaries. He flicked through the remaining pages, all seemed in check, and he made it to the last page which had a table printed o it. One column had the original, English names for products and logos, while the second had the Chinese equivalent of these terms. Only briefly skimming over the side containing his native language, it all seemed fine until one phrase had him instantly spraying recently sipped tea all over his remaining work, eyes widening in a rather comical display of shock.

Poor America was quite understandably in a bit of a frenzy when his phone woke him at some very, very, _very_ early time. In his frenzied state he managed to tangle himself twice in his sheets, falling hard to the floor, stumbling up to stub his toe on the base of a TV cabinet. Of course with his already falling balance, this merely resulted in the smacking of something as equally, if not more hard than the floor against his head. The pain was accompanied with the realisation that the phone was actually back with his bed, on the opposite side than the one he had fallen out of. Managing to somehow pick it up it up before the machine, and grab his glasses with the other hand, he paused for a split second to figure out which hand was putting what to which part of his head. Answering with a groggy "'ello?" his mind finally worked into overdrive. "Wha-za problem? Who's in trouble? What's been destroyed? What _time_ is it?"

His questioning would have continued if it weren't for the fact he had obviously missed an ear with Texas, and they were close to falling form his face. He was following its slow descent, cross-eyed, when the caller started to talk.

"I'm onto your colonel, United States of America, aru!" came the heavily accented and angered English.

"…Wha…?" Even if it was in English, America took a moment to actually process what was being said, and even then it was making no sense.

"Secrets indeed! We will be changing the slogan, _thank you very much_. And I will continue to keep an eye on anything else that, that _man_ says."

"China, dude, speak Engl- … Er, sense would ya? Seriously, what on earth?"

A sigh came across the line. "What on earth indeed, that slogan of the secretive food!"

"Slo-? Er, you mean 'finger lickin' good?"

"Yes. And I am telling you right now, Yuu Ess Ay!" China pronounced each letter quite heavily. "My people will not be following the slogan to 'eat your fingers off.' Aiyah!" And with that, America was left standing in the dark room, with his head and toe still complaining about their previous abuse, and a repetitive tone telling him the call had ended.

He stood there for a good minute, his face displaying an expression very apt of the word 'the hell?' before leaving his phone wherever it dropped, and returning to his bed before sunlight returned to his part of the world.

OoOo

This is based on the fact that when KFC was establishing in China, there was an error in translation leading to the phrase 'finger licking good' being turned into 'eat your fingers off.'  
>I've always had a giggle at this, but now with Hetalia, the situations resulting from this mistranslation <em>had <em>to include China not being happy XD

Time lines with food chains and establishment in countries is probably a bit off, but, after going to Japan in a December, I _know_ that he likes to dress the colonel up all Santa like ^ ^

- So, thoughts? Anyone else have any funny situations like this? All reviews are appreciated : )


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